The penultimate paragraph in Amir Muhammad’s introduction to “Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things”, his latest print caper, reads:

“In 1987, K Das published two books in one, ‘The Things They Say About Politicians’ and ‘The Things Politicians Say About Things’ ... Although he quoted mainly from non-Malaysians, I think of this as a follow-up, 20 years later. After all, K Das was not only a fine writer but a credit to the Malaysian race in a way that a few of the names you will encounter after this page emphatically are not.”

That final sentence is why the volume works: it is one of only two of Amir’s overt opinions. The other comes, early on, with the lyrics to “Lagu IT” (not strictly a quote), composed by then-Information Minister Mohamad Rahmat. “... speaking with strict objectivity,” Amir writes, “I can say that the near-ubiquitous ‘Lagu IT’ was the most annoying Malaysian song of the 1990s.”

“Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things” is, at first, deceptively simple. It contains no more than reported sound-bites -- “I had to put my feet on the table,”; “The Indonesians and Filipinos don’t even have enough to fill their stomachs. Who are they to lecture us on press freedom? We are more qualified because we have full stomachs,” ; and “We can’t have everyone sit in parliament for the whole day for 15 days in a row ... you may get piles!” -- and the context for these utterances -- respectively: Rafidah Aziz ending a heated debate at an Asia Pacific Economic Corporation Ministrial meeting in 1998; Zainuddin Maidin at a forum organised by a journalists’ union in 2003; and Nazri Aziz on the low attendance records of Members of Parliament in 2004.

Very quickly, however, it becomes clear that the book is an excellent exercise in editorialising. Just by reproducing facts, dates and on-record utterances, Amir colours in a dreadful sketch of Malaysian politics: misogyny, racism, hypocrisy, an apathetic disregard for parliamentary duties (and, by extrapolation, democracy), and a plain lack of intelligence (since when has nutrition been a measure for media freedom?). These things worry at a reader as he or she goes through the pages, chuckling and sighing; the compiler has managed to critique almost every aspect of his topic -- without actually commenting on anything, himself. Why say something when your subject can say it for you?

Rafidah’s oratorical gaffe, at least, has the charm of malapropism -- but merely being limited to laughing at what people in power say underlines the sad reality that there is something wrong.

In his introduction, Amir describes the typical aftermath of “Malaysia is an Islamic country. If you don’t like it, get out!” or “Put on more lipstick and try not to put on weight,”:

“It would get civil libertarians in a twist, or a funk, or some other dance music-like word. Outrage would be expressed; a befitting response you would say, to an Outrageous Quote ... but although we huffed and we puffed, life continued as per usual.”

He contrasts the differing fates of Malaysian politicians, after such public relation disasters, with those of Japanese or Australian ones. He’s right. The derision that follows after a Bushism bears real weight in the tug-of-war for the hearts and minds of the American people; satirists pounce on it -- but also analysts and campaign operatives. Here, when Parti Keadilan Rakyat candidate Khalid Ibrahim accidentally said “Vote for BN!” in his Ijok by-election speech, we can do little else but laugh.

It is often supposed that satirists are redundant in Malaysia: so much in this country is already satire. That’s not funny. “Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things” is a collection of such brilliant not-jokes; it is both a look at our masters -- and ourselves. Getting to the last page, hopefully, may furnish the reader with a sense of unease. Change comes with being troubled and thinking: “That’s not right,” -- essentially, with the twisting and funking. Amir doesn’t say this, but we already know it: we turn to smiling because we give up on frowning.

~~~

Zedeck Siew writes for Kakiseni.

Amir Muhammad’s “Malaysian Politicians Say the Darndest Things” (Matahari Books; RM30) is a first volume; this means, hopefully, there will be more. The publisher solicits suggestions. Send the good stuff, quoting source and context, to matahari.books@gmail.com.