My name’s Tengku Amalia Zahirah. I’m merely a videogame, internet, Photoshop, fantasy and Coca-Cola addict whose life experiences can be measured with a teaspoon. I’m eldest of six children, although I act like I’m the youngest of them all. I have my eyes set on being a writer, a historian, graphic designer and animator -- that’s how I ended up getting pulled into Sunway University College’s Department of Performance + Media.

I’d prefer not to take myself too seriously, for fear of an emotional implosion. If you can’t laugh at yourself, then you’re doomed to more heartbreak and suffering than you should be having.

Kuo Pao Kun’s The Coffin is Too Big for the Hole is said to be the tale of an ordinary citizen’s struggle against the insurmountable machine of administration. Tell us more about the play.

It starts out simple enough: a man has to face the problem of his grandfather’s coffin being too big for its allotted burial hole. To save face, and also get the funeral proceedings over and done with, the grandchild goes off to do the next practical thing: request for a bigger hole to fit the coffin in.

Unfortunately, he has to deal with red-tape, and finds himself unable to get a simple thing like an extra plot of land, because the law -- and state policy -- says so. Coffin is the grandchild’s story of his struggle to get the coffin in.

And what of the role you play?

I play the Grandchild. He is a somewhat law-abiding citizen at first, but that changes when he has to face off against the administrative machine (the Funeral Parlour Man and the Officer-in-Charge), who do not think that humanity and compassion should be above the law.

Ever had any bad brushes with bureaucracy, yourself?

I’m lucky, in the sense that I know someone who knows a few people ‘inside’ -- so bureaucracy is unusually nice.

What’s your take on elaborate funeral ceremonies?

I see these as a comfort tool. Well, to most people anyway. I do realise that some people want to be left alone during their hour of mourning, but many would prefer human companions around them, to keep their mind off things. Personally, I’d prefer to know if people actually cared about the person who passed away.

Some funeral ceremonies are awesome. When I die, at least, I’d like to be sent out with a bang.

So how would you like your last farewell to be, when the time comes for you to fly this earthly coop?

I would love to have my body cremated and sent to outer space, or buried on the moon’s surface -- or on Mars. But, to be practical (I doubt space-travelling is going to be cheap anytime soon), I’d have to settle with a simple burial.

But I want it covered in gold, and placed inside a large memorial, like the Taj Mahal. Then nobody can say they can’t find my damned burial plot.

How are rehearsals? Any funny / strange stories?

Rehearsals are different, to say the least -- but in a good way. It was like a combination of the army, pilates and yoga. We had a horrifying first week, when we found out that we could not sit, sleep and move properly, without being in agonising pain. We’d wander around college, cringing at the thought of sitting down or standing up. We can laugh about it now, since we have grown used to it. For now.

Tell us about some of your co-stars’ quirks.

There’s Tracy Jayasinghe, our resident Sri Lankan. She’s the kind of person who can’t be seen without a Peach Paradise (the drink from San Francisco Coffee) firmly in her grip. Then there’s Amelia, who does this baby gurgle whenever she feels ignored.

What’s it like, working with Chee Sek Thim and the rest of the Sunway faculty? Are they a balmy, batty bunch?

It’s such a bizarre place to work. Everyone has their own style of doing things, and as soon as we get used to a certain method, someone else would come along and force us to unlearn everything we just did. That’s the case for Sek Thim. Since he’s into a more ‘physical’ style of acting, he wants us to make our movements as physical as possible (within the context of the play) -- which was a 180 degree turn from Rey Buono, who did not want us to be too physical.

It can be pretty confusing at times, everyone is nuts in their own way, and they all wish to put their wisdom into our heads. We either get very confused, or very enlightened ...

Who / what inspires you?

My mother. I am in awe of her being able to juggle six volatile children -- all on the verge of, or undergoing, puberty -- whilst facing menopause, and all those crappy middle-age problems that have been surfacing. The fact that she hasn’t conspired to kill us all in our sleep from sheer frustration makes my mother my number one inspiration. When I feel that my life’s crappy, all I have to do is take a look at my mother. Then everything’s easy.

What will you be up to, after graduation?

I’d like to travel the world, while catching up on the loads of books and videogames that I didn’t have much time to spend with. I’m also pursuing an internship on writing, but I’m not sure exactly where to go, yet. Until then, I’ll tumbleweed and just see how everything goes.

What’s irony to you?

Once upon a time, I thought hell would freeze over before I’d ever act, sing or dance onstage ...

~~~

People power abounds in Kuo Pao Kun’s The Coffin Is Too Big For The Hole, on from Thu 8 - Sun 11 Mar 2007, at Sunway University College’s Rooftop Theatre. Free admission, but reservations a must.