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L-R:Shanon Shah, Viji Nair, Cathy Chin, Zalina Lee, Juliet Jacobs and Toni Kasim at Alexis, February 2008
View on a single page 04. 06. 2008
Zaitun Mohamed Kasim: 1966 - 2008 by Kakiseni
Some years ago, Time magazine ran a cover story asking, “Do the good die young?” It’s what comes to mind now, with the news that Zaitun Kasim -- known as Toni to almost everyone -- left us a few hours ago.
Toni Kasim was a good person, and she died much too soon. Is there a cosmic bargain that bestows certain individuals some unique gift, in exchange for a shorter lease on life?
It’s a simple word, good. An almost impoverished adjective, surrounded as we are by superlatives nowadays. Awesome -- to inspire awe -- is reduced into the verbal equivalent of a fist in the air, greeting the most mundane of actions. “Fantastic”, “extraordinary”, “wonderful”, “amazing”, is applied like a cheap neon highlighter to people and places and events which are at best, footnotes.
But it’s a word which fits Toni, for she was many different shades of good.
She was good at what she did. Over the years, Toni’s involvement in civil society reforms has not so much blossomed as it has spread its roots deep and wide: human rights, gender and sexuality, freedom of expression, freedom of religion, political accountability. Like many activists, she had a grasp of the theory, the issues, the politics, and the policies. She also had an eye for the minute and the absurd. She once said "It drives me crazy when the papers report 'six people were injured in the accident, including one woman.'"
Toni somehow found time for art. She made it, she watched it, she wrote about it and she courted the company of its most talented members. She was once a member of a Tamil-language theatre group, which saw no contradiction in using languages other than Tamil in its productions. She sang with an a capella group. She was a diligent Cameronian Arts Awards and indie film judge; a reviewer of films and theatre for this website.
She was good to the people around her. The best measure of a person is perhaps the company they keep, or rather the company which keeps them. Toni’s friends can speak for themselves, and some have already, in blogs and notes posted online. Suffice to say here, is that as her illness surfaced, she faced it holding the hands of others who reflected her goodness back to her.
She did good. Toni, who bore more than a passing resemblance to Elaine of Seinfeld, was an energizing presence wherever she went. Working in a field that offers little financial security and even less prestige in our doctor-lawyer-copywriter world, Toni made things happen. It may be hard to pinpoint the exact life she changed, the policy she overturned, the Article of the constitution she strengthened, the misrepresented Koran verse she restored meaning to. But to all who knew her, there is little doubt that Toni’s work, and the way she lived her life, lifted our world.
In Toni, we saw something exemplary. We found, in her many parts, what was lacking in ourselves. But rather than feelings of inadequacy, she filled us with a sense of the achievable, because she was not ‘awesome’, or ‘fantastic’ or ‘amazing’.
Do the good die young? Or does their passing, at any age, seem too soon, their time with us too brief, the loss too big?
To pockets of family, friends, loves around the world, in the arts community, and the local and international world of advocacy, the time was too, too brief. We have a palpable loss that finds itself shaped as a woman with curly black hair, dangling earrings, a big hug and an even bigger heart.
~~~
Kathy Rowland edits Kakiseni.
Toni Kasim was buried this afternoon at the Tanah Perkuburan Batu Tiga, Shah Alam. There will be a memorial service this evening at her sister's residence, at No 11, Jalan Mesra, Taman Mesra, Batu Tiga, Shah Alam.
Tributes, events and articles for Toni:
14 June - REMEMBERING TONI KASIM - A Memorial for an inspiring Malaysian organised by The Annexe, Central Market. More info here.
Suaram's post here
The Star's article here
Sister's In Islam's website carries obituaries from The Sun, The Star and Malaysiakini here
The Malaysian Bar's obituary here
Ricecooker's obituary here
Susan Loone's blog here
Please add links if you find anything else out there.
Toni Kasim was a good person, and she died much too soon. Is there a cosmic bargain that bestows certain individuals some unique gift, in exchange for a shorter lease on life?
It’s a simple word, good. An almost impoverished adjective, surrounded as we are by superlatives nowadays. Awesome -- to inspire awe -- is reduced into the verbal equivalent of a fist in the air, greeting the most mundane of actions. “Fantastic”, “extraordinary”, “wonderful”, “amazing”, is applied like a cheap neon highlighter to people and places and events which are at best, footnotes.
But it’s a word which fits Toni, for she was many different shades of good.
She was good at what she did. Over the years, Toni’s involvement in civil society reforms has not so much blossomed as it has spread its roots deep and wide: human rights, gender and sexuality, freedom of expression, freedom of religion, political accountability. Like many activists, she had a grasp of the theory, the issues, the politics, and the policies. She also had an eye for the minute and the absurd. She once said "It drives me crazy when the papers report 'six people were injured in the accident, including one woman.'"
Toni somehow found time for art. She made it, she watched it, she wrote about it and she courted the company of its most talented members. She was once a member of a Tamil-language theatre group, which saw no contradiction in using languages other than Tamil in its productions. She sang with an a capella group. She was a diligent Cameronian Arts Awards and indie film judge; a reviewer of films and theatre for this website.
She was good to the people around her. The best measure of a person is perhaps the company they keep, or rather the company which keeps them. Toni’s friends can speak for themselves, and some have already, in blogs and notes posted online. Suffice to say here, is that as her illness surfaced, she faced it holding the hands of others who reflected her goodness back to her.
She did good. Toni, who bore more than a passing resemblance to Elaine of Seinfeld, was an energizing presence wherever she went. Working in a field that offers little financial security and even less prestige in our doctor-lawyer-copywriter world, Toni made things happen. It may be hard to pinpoint the exact life she changed, the policy she overturned, the Article of the constitution she strengthened, the misrepresented Koran verse she restored meaning to. But to all who knew her, there is little doubt that Toni’s work, and the way she lived her life, lifted our world.
In Toni, we saw something exemplary. We found, in her many parts, what was lacking in ourselves. But rather than feelings of inadequacy, she filled us with a sense of the achievable, because she was not ‘awesome’, or ‘fantastic’ or ‘amazing’.
Do the good die young? Or does their passing, at any age, seem too soon, their time with us too brief, the loss too big?
To pockets of family, friends, loves around the world, in the arts community, and the local and international world of advocacy, the time was too, too brief. We have a palpable loss that finds itself shaped as a woman with curly black hair, dangling earrings, a big hug and an even bigger heart.
~~~
Kathy Rowland edits Kakiseni.
Toni Kasim was buried this afternoon at the Tanah Perkuburan Batu Tiga, Shah Alam. There will be a memorial service this evening at her sister's residence, at No 11, Jalan Mesra, Taman Mesra, Batu Tiga, Shah Alam.
Tributes, events and articles for Toni:
14 June - REMEMBERING TONI KASIM - A Memorial for an inspiring Malaysian organised by The Annexe, Central Market. More info here.
Zedeck Siew's blog for kakiseni here.
Malaysiakini Video Tribute hereJerry Foo's video of Toni recording a song for a tribute video here.
Aliran's obituary here.Suaram's post here
The Star's article here
Sister's In Islam's website carries obituaries from The Sun, The Star and Malaysiakini here
The Malaysian Bar's obituary here
Ricecooker's obituary here
Susan Loone's blog here
Please add links if you find anything else out there.
User Comments
| posted by Shanon Shah, Wed 30.07.200812:14:36 PM |
| Feste, the fact that you are bringing this up now speaks of your own cowardice and lack of integrity. As far as I know, the incident happened in 2005 or 2006 - a long time ago. You had ample time to bring this up with Toni, but you didn't. You waited until she died and then posted this comment, which no one can verify or challenge now because the person you accuse of this is DEAD. Well done.
|
| posted by feste, Thu 12.06.200809:27:42 AM |
| dear siew eng, why am i bringing this up now? why is everybody putting in their comments for toni when she is no longer around to hear them then, why weren't these things communicated to her while she is alive. so what is the point of anyone posting anything here in the first place. "my human rights"? well, do all malaysians agree that the human rights that are championed by the so-called "activists" here a brand of "human rights" that is generic or universal. and to which particular campaign or program, are u talking about? so my "human rights" are different from theirs; is that a problem? i was going to deal with the gangsters thru legal means. they were my former employers and i never knew that they used violence in their business dealings. when i found out, i quit but they demanded their things back and i refused until i am given my proper documents. i never committed any crime because i was going to return the things i have stolen but i wanted my papers. i never asked anyone to come to my defense but i already know how i wanted to deal with this situation. i am grateful to toni and all the trainees there in the workshop for coming to my rescue but i never asked them to do anything. in that stressful situation, i'd even agree to spend some time to come and document their "human rights" workshop even though i was going thru so many things at one time. so my problem came and caught up with me, "the human rights activists" came to my rescue without me asking them to do so and then blamed me for endangering their lives. well if indeed they wanted a "safe space" with no risks, why don't they do a background check on me before inviting me to work for them like any other employer. they would have known that i am invovled with rather "violent" groups. had they done so, they would know better than to hire me. sorry, to me "a hotel function room" is not a "safe space". and it is costing the funder and the ngos a lot of money to "create" this safe space. "besmirching her name????" what is important is what toni had done for you and all the people out there and what we had done or said to her while she was still alive. it is impossible for whatever we say or do now to tarnish our own individual memory of her. and i am sure she knows she does not need me to forgive her and she did not let me down. and sorry, but i don't pray.
|
| posted by jh, Wed 11.06.200819:21:24 PM |
| kjn
|
| posted by Ari Ratos, Wed 11.06.200819:19:45 PM |
| I acted in a play with Toni in 1996. We were not close and after the play, we would meet only in passing around the theatre scene. Yet these meetings were always with a hug and a smile. She didn't always like what i did in theatre but i appreciated her candour because i knew it was without malice. I'm sorry i didn't know her better. I will remember her with fondness.
|
| posted by Chuah Siew Eng, Wed 11.06.200805:06:34 AM |
| Feste, if you are truly peace, why are you bringing this up now, anonymously, when Toni is no longer around to explain her actions or even provide her version of what happened? You appear to have been disappointed with her for failing to defend your "human rights", for which I don't see a case, even by your account. Surely you don't mean your right not to be assaulted by the people from whom you stole (by your own admission)? You said she was 'kind' enough to negotiate with the gangsters - apparently, all it required was 'kindness' to confront them; no need for concern, courage, or taking a risk. Yet if your life was being threatened by a group of (I presume) men who would use violence to have their way, wouldn't Toni have come to possible harm in trying to protect you (btw, are you a man, a woman or neither)? I would have expected any right-minded person to defend/protect the innocent (i.e., the participants and Toni), but you valued your life above theirs and allowed Toni to come to your defence. Again, why was it their business/job to save your ass and risk theirs, when you were the one who committed a crime and is avoiding having to pay for it? Where is your sense of entitlement coming from? I hope you can see why people would doubt your motives. And the other thing is, if it was a workshop, then the participants would have been targeted according to their needs and the objectives of the workshop, hence requiring a safe space. A public talk, with an open invitation publicised in the media, would obviously not. Lastly, I would like to share with you what Toni's uncle said after she was buried. He asked us to forgive her for any wrong she might have committed to anyone and thanked us ("ribuan terima kasih") for our presence. I had thought then, that we were the ones who should thank her for all that she had done for us and for enriching our lives in ways many of us may never truly appreciate. So I hope that you will forgive her for apparently letting you down. And I hope that you will also remember to show your thanks to her for saving your life once and let her rest in peace by not besmirching her name this way again. Whatever else you want to tell her, keep it between the two of you in your prayers.
|
| posted by Feste, Tue 10.06.200813:59:21 PM |
| toni, toni, toni...... there was something that i really needed to tell her for a long long time but never had the chance to. i'd always thought that one day the chance will come but... wow.... i was being chased by a group of gangsters because i stole their things and i've managed to evade them for quite some time until one fine day a friend asked me to help them document their human rights workshop. on the first night of the workshop, the gangsters managed to trace and ambush me at the hotel where the workshop was being held. the facilitators plus toni were kind enough to help me negotiate with the gangsters to resolve the issue but unfortunately after that incident, toni confronted me and accused me of being selfish for bringing the gangsters to the workshop, on purpose, just to protect myself. she said that they were trying to create a "safe" space for the participants (even though the workshop was organized in a hotel that was open for the public.) ever since, my relationship with the human rights community in msia deteriorated. i was already under so much stress of running away, and now i get the ngos who were suppose to protect human rights, acting so unbelievably self righteous and just simply mouthing off whatever they feel. happy to say ever since, i have found my own place in this world but far far away from the msian human rights scene. and i'd always thought that i would be able to confront toni one day to tell her truth of what happened that night. well, so the chance will never ever come. but i think now she knows. so toni, where ever u are, just wanna let u know that i did NOT bring those gangsters there. just wished u would ask first before accusing someone, who was already under so much stress, of doing what you assumed. still, now i know i can move on from that. hope u are in peace too...... :)
|
| posted by Benjamin McKay, Sat 07.06.200816:03:48 PM |
| Thank you Kathy for this beautiful remembrance of yes, a truly good human being. I heard the news shortly after her passing while here in Kuching but it has taken me until today before I could comment on line. Toni was many things to many people, but for me she was the single most important guide and teacher I have had who made sense of the manner in which one learns to negotiate ones way around the compexities of daily life in Malaysia. Toni managed that negotiation with finesse, style, good humour and burning passion. She helped me so much over the past few years and her grace and warmth and strength often left me feeling a little at odds with my own inadequacies... Her good example was, truly both a constant illumination and a regular source of wonder. Miss her, mourn her, even be angry at the cruelty of her passing so young - but never not feel truly proud Malaysia that she was one of your daughters, one of your sisters and one of your most dignified and most passionate of citizens. In loving memory... benjamin
|
| posted by damian, Sat 07.06.200804:00:22 AM |
| This page keeps reloading every few seconds and is difficult to read. Please look into it. Thanks.
|
| posted by Susan Loone, Sat 07.06.200803:28:07 AM |
| Hi; Here's one more for Toni: http://tinyurl.com/3jprrv
|
| posted by Llew Marsh, Thu 05.06.200823:21:47 PM Readers say:  (So-so, but makes a valid point)
|
| thanks Kathy, God Bless You Toni, - I know He has already - in the friends you kept while here on Earth..they loved you.. You were and always be a positive reminder fo what goodness and fun should be - I remember you as someone who on top of all your causes and fights for right - was some who could laugh and joke and revel in the joy of others.....and I will always remember your smile and your Presence - That you had my dear....... RIP
|
| posted by gaik cheng khoo, Thu 05.06.200822:18:17 PM |
| I second that comment. Thanks for putting into words what a lot of us feel about her. I had no idea what she was going through in the last few months so her passing is a great shock to me. And it's always hardest when the light that burnt the brightest gets snuffed out. The world just seems suddenly all the darker.
|
| posted by Paul, Thu 05.06.200817:58:48 PM |
| Kathy, it is a beautiful piece you have written on Toni. She was always such a strong presence and force for good. I will always love her, despite the pain in our relationship and in its ending. There was also much joy. She enriched my life in uncountable ways that I will probably never be able to fully appreciate or understand. I have always been in awe of her abilities, her drive and her fiery passion for justice. The enormous Toni-shaped hole in the world is too painful for words right now.
|
| posted by hamzah, Thu 05.06.200816:54:55 PM |
| RIP Toni and thank you :-)
|
| posted by Mei Yee, Thu 05.06.200803:48:00 AM |
| a very well written tribute article about toni. she was so full of life, and she always have a big, warm hug for everyone. when i was 14, she was the one who planted in me the seed to stand up for human rights. she has truly touched my life by making human rights so interesting and cool to me. may she rest in peace, knowing that her life-long work has bore fruits in form of waking others from a life of ignorance.
|
| posted by MXV, Thu 05.06.200802:05:31 AM |
| It aches me and it pains me as I scream "Toni, i miss you and it hurts!!!!" Her last words to me was "Poor thing! What happened?" as she saw me seated in a wheelchair barely weeks after my accident and operation. Furthermore, I was on a wheelchair of my quadriplegic uncle (car accident) who passed away the morning after I was 'loaned' the wheelchair at the hospital the night before. I was devastated. I am feeling that devastation again. Toni was her usual bubbly self that night at Actors Studio Bangsar. I didn't get to share with her about my accident... Last week, Rozana helped me to pass some messages to her... her response was "That's so sweet".... I want so much more, I want to be beside her and just put my head on her palm... now I don't get to anymore....
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| posted by rohaizad suaidi, Thu 05.06.200801:13:16 AM |
| thank you, kathy. i admit i rarely read anything on kakiseni anymore these days, but i needed to mourn tonight and i don't have anybody around me who knows toni, and dinking around the 'net, i found this, your beautifully written... i can't say it. toni was good, yes. and she was also so so so beautiful. i needed to cry and reading what you wrote, kathy, allowed me to.
|
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